Hold love loosely, yeah… that’s my motto.

It’s been working for awhile. It’s beautiful,
hold those you love loosely.
Then…, if they go…,
they go, having loved them fully while they were here.
I haven’t ‘really’ loved since adopting this philosophy.
I have been loved, wonderful sweet connections,
deeply real with me being fully present for my part,
you might even call it… love, but not the ‘in love’ part.

that has been pretty much one way, directed to me.
Yes, it’s been a regular love fest
filling the air with the fragrance of apples,
and…, oranges.
Lovely scents to be sure,
enticing all matter of wondrous things.
Nice…, very nice…., sitting there fat and sassy,
comfortable atop my astute philosophy,
all the while holding love loosely;
it was a wonderful life, having become so evolved.

Then comes this pair of eyes.
I have heard them called the windows of the soul,
and now…, I know why.

Anyway, this particular pair of eyes came attached to the whole package,
and I mean…, the whole package, in my very own little ’whole package’ way.
Intelligence, wit, inner and outer beauty, but it’s the eyes,
those damn eyes, with their direct connection to eternity.
They…, THEY are the one thing that truly entrance me, enchant me.
This is new, so very new and I am swiftly lost in their story.
A story of past? A story of future? I just can’t tell at all, and this is – ME…
the one who reads between the lines,
who dances with adversity with a certain fluidity.
Wait, wait…, where are my feet, what the hell.
I am rattled, shaken and feeling so off balance.
It is all so…, so…, very maddening, and…, I am rapidly lost.

Magic hours, words flow unbridled,
secrets dare the light of the moment,
truth hangs in the air, sweet, like jasmine in springtime.
Hurts are revealed, raw…, but finding a balm in this time of tenderness.
Yes, souls…, shown in their nakedness. And..,
bodies, they too…, are shown in their nakedness.
A meeting of lips, hers are amazingly, and…, comfortably familiar.
Where our chests meet, our hearts can be felt beating…
just a mere breath apart.
And in her eyes, the universe lays within.
What the hell is going on.

Suddenly, in our world stood still,
time and commitment – intrudes like a lightning bolt, (god I hate clocks).
Then it is… hasty goodbyes, pausing for a few heartbeats, uncounted,
ending with a sweet caress and, a lingering hug.
Blink…, blink…, she is gone.

Sleep flees me that eve, haunted by eyes, eternal eyes, her eyes.
Fate…, does not let our paths cross for a few days, and…,
when we meet, we talk briefly. For her…, relationship is not allowed.
So walk away is what I must do, should do, I do… do.
Yet when I close my eyes, there she is.
So unfamiliar this place I now am in.

Then comes ‘round another random meeting, polite to be sure,
and it ends with us wrapped in a tender hug,
all the while her heart is pounding so hard that I can feel it… yet…,
away she walks.
Thereafter, she can be seen but I am unseen, invisible.
I do not exist.

This is about the time I remember…, my philosophy.
Hah, easier said than done but now it is time to truly live it.
So…, now I do…, now I do not…, now I do…,
each heartbeat, each minute, each hour, each day,
and all the while – it hurts, it fucking hurts.

I guess it is the same with bodies,
as it is with hearts, it hurts while it heals.
Ahhh…, learning to hold love loosely, not mere words anymore,
such as those that used to fall so easily from my mouth,
but…, for real.., real – to hold love loosely.