Two Wheels & Too Long

Today is the first time since my motorcycle wreck (6+ yrs ago)
that I’ve been on something that has 2 wheels with a motor on it
A scooter…
in Bali
I finally got back on the horse (so to speak)
Yay!

Japan – My Stories

Hi everyone!

I will try to do a regular diary while I’m in Japan.
There are so many things that are new to me.
I’m sure they are normal, everyday things.
Hopefully you will find humor in some of what I see or feel
Maybe you will even see Japan with new eyes!

I will use some titles to write about some things
They are as follows:

Hosts and Helpers – (these are the people who have given me a place to stay or who have helped me in some way)

There are Places… (these words are from a Beatles song. I will write about places I visit)

Friends, Foes and Alien Beings – (I will write about the people I meet on my journey )

Lessons and other Interesting Tidbits – ( I will share about the personal lessons I’m learning and interesting little things )

The little Boy in me Report – (there are so many things I notice that I am starting to feel like a child so I will share about these things. You will laugh or think I’m crazy. Oh well…)

Have Fun
~kenji

Love showed herself….

…to me, briefly….

Jet Black Hair, Almond Eyes and an Ageless Spirit

She was here for a Time, and then gone to Far Away Lands

She returned one other time, Intense, and…, Sweet

Was it, is it… meant to be, still remains Unknown

I feel the need to Embody a fuller life of Gratitude and Love

Maybe then Obstacles will be Removed and the way will Open for Love

Whatever form She may take

~kenji

In The Flow..

So I will stay here at Esalen in Big Sur, CA… I have been accepted to the 1 year work-study program at Esalen and I am excited (with some trepidation) and look forward to a year of growth plus living in community while working & settling back into my body as well as growing from the inside out… digging deep in a place that allows it.

~Nurtured~
by the Sea,
by the Land,
by the People.

It is way past the time for me to regroup. I’ve shared precious little of the turbulent past year. I feel beaten and tired but definitely not defeated. The hard times have produced wondrous growth and lessons that will be the foundation for my next adventures in life. Already the stage is set with new folk that have already crossed my path reinforcing the value of interdependence.

I am hoping some will choose to visit as it is a great place to see (so contact me if you’re up for it) When I finally do leave.., I hope to bring a contagious loving attitude and energy to all encounter.

I look forward to where my feet will land next (possibly Japan, HI, CA-SF, AZ & OR) and have high hopes of meeting many of you face to face so I can truly know you beyond the cyber & energetic connection we already have. I will have spotty access to the internet here at Esalen so if you want to connect via that avenue, please be patient.

—> I truly have LOVE for those I have connected with as fellow sojourners on this planet.

Take care, and, namaste
(which as I understand it means the god in me acknowledges and recognizes the god in you)

~kenji

This Momentous Day

Four years ago today was when I almost left this planet when I wrecked my motorcycle*. Today, I so wanted to celebrate life with someone (or someones, even anyone) but when I looked around, I found I have no friends. My ‘prewreck’ life was spent running business and making the ‘good life’ so coveted by the world but in doing this solo ended up making me an unintentional hermit, which is the opposite of who I am.

To date, post-wreck life has been a time of trials & blessings, of dreams dying, of learning & growing but still…, the isolation, both by where I live and a lack of a circle of friends. I feel great things on the horizon but it has been a year of limbo. I am lost and lonely. I need laughter, conversation. touch, motion, action, community, you know…, the give and take of it all – the energy of beings in close proximity of each other.

So any advice (other than ‘get out there’ because I don’t know where ‘there’ is) and insights would be appreciated because I feel caged and trapped though I know I am free

~kenji

New Light Being

Originally I was going to keep this to myself out of fear of judgment, both of me, the child and the couple involved but I felt so blessed for being part of their journey that I wanted to share. I was the sperm donor for an awesome lesbian couple who had their little girl on January 6th 2007. They are so excited and in love with this child that I can’t help but smile. They have committed to send me pictures now and then as she grows. I ask you send good energy the child’s way that she will be the nexus of light for the family

Human Touch

Its been over a year and a half
Since someone has been in my life.

I miss the human touch, plain and simple
In passing,
In resting,
And, In intimacy

I miss the taste of words as they pass my lips
In conversations,
Communications,
And,
Expressions of the heart

I miss the company of a kindred spirit
Seeing what I see
Hearing what I hear
And,
The exchange of energies

I look forward to the time
When a She again enters my life.

~kenji

Soooo close to moving on to the Other Side (Feb 18 2003)

That happens when you wreck your motorcycle after having been seduced by a prematurely sunny day.

There began what I affectionately call ‘my year of hell’
I remember thinking ìwhy is this happeningî. Then it’s face down on the side of the road trying to get my helmet of because I can’t breathe. Then is the pain that feels as if someone parked a truck on my leg. Pain. Faces floating. Pain. Please don’t jostle so much, it’s excruciating. Pain. A helicopter. Pain. Faces & questions & x-rays on the wall. Pain. A pink mask….
Timeless fighting. Fear. Demons. I am scared to my core and yet battle on and on….
A cool washcloth on my head. A fragment of reality to try and hold. Pain. Snippets of conversation. I talk too. Pain. This is my life….
Reality more often than not. One lung is/was collapsed, 5 ribs are broken and one leg will never be the same. 5 days have passed. It turns out I’ve had two surgeries. Pain is my constant companion though my mother is there just about as much and my daughter the third…
Some visit. Some with their body betraying the feeling of ‘can’t wait to get outta here’, others with the ‘dude you’re fucked up but my face don’t show it does it’ look on their face, and, of course the ones that care and are touched to the core…
Eight days was all that could be endured. They were considering transferring me to another place but I needed Home to mend. Hospitals are not places of wellness…
To keep a blog from becoming a novel the short of it was a year of healing starting in a wheel chair to walker to vision trouble to crutches to spraining the good ankle to a wheel chair to walker to crutches to brain swelling to a cane. Adding insult to injury. My mom dies suddenly (at 64). Yeah, you know Ö the one who camped out on my living room floor taking care of me for the first three months irregardless of her own health struggles. (It all really sounds like a country song, doesn’t it)

All this changes a person…

I may pen more later but it boils down to (being near the anniversary) that I thought I’d share this insight:

—–>This is the best thing that ever happened to me. My soul knew that this event would cause needed change to me<—–

Three years Alive & of Life… I still have residual stuff I deal with but I can do it from a perspective I never had

Blessings to you all. May your path be easier than mine but just as impactful on you. Namaste

In Memory – Mom, though I lost you in August that year, I’m forever . I need to say Thank You” for giving more than any mom should have to. I know that you now move & dance in ways that your earth suit wouldn’t let you while you were here.

Special Thanks – Bri my daughter/friend, thanks for not imploding under the burden of a broken dad, a doting grandma, school plus the loss of your close friend and finally your grandma. You’re awesome